I hate it when there's so much to say but you can't find the right words to make those sentences that just explain how you feel and you try so hard to make it straight to the point without giving out the full on, straight facts. All my thoughts and feelings are crashing and bumping with eachother, while all the never-ending, on going questions rush down leaving me with nothing to say, but yet so much? It just... doesn't seem to work out cus lately, it seems like ive been blogging as much as ive been breathing, non-stop blog blog blog - yet all this "expressin" doesn't seem to help me at all.. seems like the more i blog, the more i think, the more i think, the less i settle things, like a never ending cycle of problematic thoughts that bound me to feeling like ...ive always got my head up in the clouds, never knowing what's up cause i keep wingin' things and having those high hopes every once in a while for a win just leave everything so ...untacked.
You. I've been thinkin'? bout..You're all I've been thinkin' bout lately. I've been here once before but it never seems enough, enough to satisfy me. Always striving for more even though I don't know where I am going, or even headed to. Feelin' so out of focus with no balance what-so-ever. Yeah Ive liked such and such .. but the feelings? - never as strong. I guess it only feels right that I got my heart robbed? From the thoughts you verbally express in such ways just makes me ...melt, while being so distracted from all the little habits you do that annoys me to my very bone, all seems swell..well..good.... just.. perfect and I must say I look pretty damn cute in your arms, but let's not tell the whole world. Lately, the things I've been feeling have been so mind-expanding, undescribable even though I do still try to put them into words, so riveting at times that I can't even catch my own breath and ...sometimes I get thoughts, crazy thoughts, like straight up wishing to waking up and not remembering any of our conversations, just so I can listen..read..etc.. to them again for the first time. They're just.. so.. ..(enter word here).
Him. A little scared with all these changes happening but the change was for the better even though there are those slight awkward turns and twists to it. In the end though.. it was the better for the both of us and honestly, I could say "i miss you" ...endlessly, but we both know we're never going to get "that, this, those etc." back, but ill admit it .. Im going to really miss "that" friendship and "those" moments - never thought id be reminicsing it like this. So, I wish you nothin' but the best, cause you gave me your best.. I just didn't deserve so much of it. Mistakes happen, and the mistake was letting the mistake happen, even though I personally wouldn't call it a mistake cus' to me it was more like a challenge, an experience, with a lesson learned and even though everything didn't all fall down to how I wished/hoped .. blahblahblah wanted it to...and as many times I'd say and repeat to myself that "It could have ended better" - it's not going to change anything so i'll just "K.I.S.S".
No comments:
Post a Comment