"it was just my imagination, running away with me"

Deep talks give me deep thoughts - Remember elementary days? Cause I surely do. I recall having that huge crush on that white boy with the pretty blue eyes that I chased every recess because I just wanted to give him a big kiss - Sometimes, don't you just wish it was still that easy? Not having so much feeling, so much thought put into everything. There was no complications it was just crushes and there were only two outcomes of situations and that was either he didn't like you cause he thought you were gross.. and had cooties or he liked you, he was yours and you can proudly point and say "that boy is mine", never in between because by the time lunch would hit, you guys would already be married. But then your "pre-teen" ages comes and hits you in the face and that leaves you experimenting with boys and the words "it's more than a crush" or "you're my girlfriend/boyfriend" or sometimes it came to a point where you said "i love you" but you didn't even have a clue of what it meant or you just said it to be "cool". This age with boys was like choosing a fish out of the pet store, there were so many to choose from and they just all seemed the same - they all smelled funny, looked funny, and had that cute quirky smile that you just simply adored - but sometimes you find one, that different one, one with the pretty cool colored fins and you simply and suddenly just get hooked, so hooked that you learn what it feels like to get hurt because he just stopped like you cus he didn't feel the same way anymore and you learn this word called "heartbreak". Feeling this "stage" for the first time, you're not sure how to deal with it, so you just do what they do in movies and you cry cause you feel like you lost the love of your life, but really.. looking back 3 years from now, you realize that you were just a silly little girl that was just "experimenting" with growing up and boys, and you think to yourself "what the heck was wrong with me?". High school hits, everyone starts to slowly but suddenly grow up, realizing or trying to figure out this word called "love" and the over used and misunderstood phrase "i love you"... well some people never learn or they think they've got it all figured out but.. honestly, its so undefinable even people twice our age still haven't got the puzzle pieces fitting together. Then one day, out of the blue, you'll meet a boy that you will just fall head over heels for. He will leave you breathless and give you feelings that you can't even explain, but you still try so you can tell your best friends how amazing this boy is - But that's only the start, the start always feels so good because it's a new beginning and you're past that "LG" phase with "crushes". The beginning is the best part because thats where you make your "moments" and that is what keeps you thinking of him and all the cheesy things you or he has said to you, but it doesn't stay like that cause now you're older and you're going to go through all the iffy little things you've never even come across like the "i like you and you like me but we're not together" phase or the "i like you but i have a girlfriend" phase ... etc. I seriously think the farther you get from the age 12, the more it feels like all this gets even more and more confusing than what you thought it was. You think of more and more questions that leave you stuck and puzzled in the same spot where you started off with. You face through more complicated situations that you never thought you were going to go through or never thought that you'd even feel "this" way. Confused out of your mind cause he just makes you miss him so much, that's what you are. An unsolvable puzzle that you keep trying to solve is what you're left with because you love that feeling, that feeling you are left with when you're with him, thinking of him, hugging him.. and all that good stuff.