INEEDLOVE.

"When I’m alone in my room - sometimes I stare at the wall and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call, telling me I need a boy who's as sweet as a dove. For the first time in my life, I see I need love. There I was giggling about the games that I had played with many hearts, and I’m not saying no names. Then the thought occurred, tear drops made my eyes burn - as I said to myself when am I gonna learn? I can feel it inside, I can’t explain how it feels. All I know is that I’ll never dish another raw deal. Playing make believe pretending that I’m true, holding in my laugh as I say that I love you, saying “amour” kissing you on the ear -whispering I love you and Ill always be here. Although I often reminisce I can’t believe that I found a desire for true love floating around inside my soul because my soul is cold. One half of me deserves to be this way till I’m old but the other half needs affection and joy and the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy - I need love, I need love …."

I've been listening to this over and over again, funny how this hits straight to home. I've been so over emotional this whole week, feeling all kinds of things, it ranges from the lowest to the the highest points possible to feel. I recall saying that I miss you, you and you, but when i think about it and what has happened all through out the past months... i shouldn't miss you, you and you, but oh well... i guess you left a mark in me thats a little challenging to erase. Stating my wants/needs, makes me feel a little spoiled and inconciderate. Yeah, I want this and that, but really, if i think about it, the only thing i really need to focus on is self motivation and responsiblity haha damnnnnnnnnnnnnn... - its been a slack year, and now im beating myself up for the things i never did that i said i would do.... Ohhhh wellll, i think if i totalled up all the things, good and bad, that happened this year ... it would all go under "distractions", but it's all good, theyve been all live changing experiences.. literally. Another thing, blogging makes me happy, it really does, i dont know why? but expressing it on this really .... finishes the day.

lattttttttttttttttter' dayz