careful confessions: never posted

Deep within each of us lies a garden. An intensely personal place. Throughout most of our lives, this garden remains hidden from view save for brief glimpses during moments spent daydreaming or in quiet contemplation… but many of us long to make this imaginative garden real.

It seems like I cant do the right thing anymore. Im going with the flow, trying to get back to where we used to be, trying to change how I used to be. And when I feel like Im doing something right, you’re attitude changes. I feel like Im the only one putting in the effort to change. Ive stopped trying to be suffocating when it comes to us. But you cant seem to gain patience. You claim I annoy you because I say dumb things. Yet, I accept your flaws and half the time you get mad over something so little. I feel like I have to watch what I say just to avoid your reaction. Then when you do get mad, you dont tell me what I did. So im left wondering and blaming myself. Its so sad how I put up with it too. Its because I believe youre worth it and after all we’ve been through I dont want to give up on you. Im extremely patient when it comes to us. And quite frankly, I shouldnt have to be. But when we are good, we’re really good. I know I have to make some changes with how I act. I just wish you could meet me half way. I know you have changed some, and I see it when we are happy. I know I say dumb things sometimes, Im trying to change. I know I get clingy once in awhile. But all im asking for is a little more patience. Theres no need to get mad so easily. At least Im trying. Doesn’t that count?