nonchalance

So I'm trying pretty hard to be perfect. Perhaps perfect is too strong; mindful, considerate, eager to please, call it what you will. I guess you can say that this time I'm actually trying to get this whole thing right. So I've got all these rules and regulations listed and running through my head that I've been trying to follow to keep myself in tact and so you don’t see past this facade. I’m not nonchalant, I over-think everything. I can be intense, and I’m definitely jealous at times. but in essence, at the crux of all this over analyzation; I am insanely in love with you. I just wish you knew how far away I am from nonchalance.